It is said that “the first impression is what counts”, which is why first dates make us so nervous. But if you think that the saying refers only to the visual impression … you are very wrong !, because there are many details of our behavior that, without being conscious, speak about ourselves; how we are, what we want, what we like, etc.
Body language, gaze and tone of voice are a clear example that there are things as or more important than words and physicality, since they are gestures that send a series of messages that the brain processes even though we are not aware of it. If you want to know how to be and act on a first date, keep reading this Handsome & Men article; We offer you the most useful tips on how to behave, what to expect and what to talk about on a first date.
Tips for the first date
As different as we are from each other, there are feelings and emotions that are universal. We share certain details that, in general, almost everyone likes or dislikes. What we usually look for on a first date is to know if we can trust the other person or if, on the contrary, we see behaviors that raise the alarm signal. For this reason, there are some simple guidelines that will help us to create a climate of trust and “good vibes” that will make our first date an unforgettable evening. These are our tips for the first date:
- Preparation: a date begins well before the time of the meeting. It is important that we feel good on our skin, something that requires prior preparation.
- Grooming without overdoing it: excessive plasticity can generate distrust, so we recommend choosing clothes that flatter you but with which you feel comfortable. If there is something that makes us feel uncomfortable, even if it is our shoes, it can confuse the other person and lead them to think that we feel that way because of their presence.
- Take care of body language: there are times when attitude, posture and gestures reveal a lot of how we feel. This is especially true when we are talking about negative feelings like insecurity, anxiety, or boredom. In this sense, the key is naturalness, so try to be yourself, be honest and calm.
- Choose a suitable place: it is best to choose a public place for the first date. It will make us feel more secure and make it easy to quickly end the appointment if it does not go well. Most dating service portals recommend having the first date in a restaurant, not only because the way of eating says a lot about a person, but because it naturally limits the duration of the date. Wherever it is, make sure it is a pleasant place that allows you to have a conversation without distractions.
- Show interest: A key aspect of a first date is knowing how to listen. Our interest must be real and, in a conversation, it will give us a lot of essential information about the other person. Show that you are paying attention with good eye contact, as not looking at the other person can give a feeling of absence.
Where to go on the first date
As we discussed in our tips, the place where an appointment takes place can be decisive. It is preferable to choose a public place, since you have to bear in mind that the date can go well or it can go wrong (especially if it is someone you have met online). If all goes well, the appointment can be extended elsewhere, but if you do not feel comfortable, you can always finish the appointment less aggressively.
It should be a neutral and quiet place that favors tranquility and a feeling of comfort. It is important to be able to carry on a conversation, because after all, only then can you get to know the other person well. Avoid places with low light, with excessively loud music, with too many people or too much noise. Keep in mind that the center of attention should be you, not something in the environment.
If your nerves take over, a walk in the park will always be relaxing; If you don’t want your date to be too long, you can always meet for coffee in a nice place. However, if you have high expectations, you can always meet for dinner.
How to act on a first date
The purpose of a first date is to see if the feeling someone gives you is really good. To do this, we have to discover who that person really is and how they act in certain situations. In this case, the best we can do is listen, engage in conversation and maintain a relaxed atmosphere, although sometimes our nerves can betray us.
What should we do if our nerves play tricks on us? Try to stay calm and think that everything is under control. Be proactive, positive and interesting; have an entertaining conversation, ask questions and listen carefully, laugh at yourself and make the odd joke without wanting to be too funny. The key is to know where the limits are.
What to talk about on the first date
On a first date, opinions are usually exchanged, mainly to find common ground with the other person. Try to show interest and express yourself naturally, as this will create a climate of trust. Don’t pretend, because even if you don’t believe it, it always shows, so talk about what you know and acknowledge what you ignore. Also, if the relationship starts with sincerity, we can always be ourselves. Keep these tips for a first date in mind:
- Don’t forget politeness: courtesy and kindness open many doors. For example, you can start a conversation by praising the chosen place if you are the guest, and if you are the host, you can comment on why you have chosen that place.
- Avoid controversial topics: even if they seem like the most everyday topics, talking about politics, religion or football can end in controversy. An argument will most likely mean the end of the date.
- Don’t discuss your past relationships – exes , failed marriages, and disappointments in love are not suitable topics for a first date. Among other things, they can cause the feeling that we live anchored in the past or that we have not yet overcome a previous relationship.
- Share your expectations: a good way to consider a possible relationship is to know if that person will have a place in your way of life. Therefore, one way to make a good impression is to let the other person know that you will have time for them and that you are willing to make future plans, even if that plan is simply going out for coffee or going to the movies.
- Prepare some neutral questions: To avoid awkward silences, you can prepare a series of neutral questions that will lead to pleasant conversations. For example: What would you do if you won the lottery? What would your dream trip be like?
What to expect from a first date
The answer to this question will always depend on your expectations of that other person. A first date for entertainment purposes (or a date for casual sex) and without pretense of the future is not the same as a date with someone you care about or with whom you think you could get into a relationship.
In any case, do not forget that a first date is a contact; it is better not to expect too much from it, be realistic and enjoy it. If all goes well, it is very likely that there is a second and a third.